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February! RAID ink and posters! write about February sob!

February for me to sign a month. I'm always there in despair, I do not know to do with himself, not I can live like a gentleman, and pryvyazvayusya to things, looking at them salvation. How the rest of February, and formed the next year - has prompted me to experience and propensity to superstition, numerology and domestic fatalism.
Every February the same that in it I sobbed fascinated by some man and some sort of thing. In the past year I'm fond of the book "Doctor Zhivago", the TV series "School", Pamela ate and played all night in zubadrabitselnuyu toy Planescape: Torment, absmaktvayuchy there every dialogue and every note.
This February the new attributes to the old formula. I read the "devil" before going to sleep on the chapter on bread namazvayu Philadelphia cheese, traveling around the city by taxi 7788, I go to play football at the arena and watch the TV series "The real guys." Abaldenny series. Incredibly trogatselny and real. It may be so, that I'll be watching it all night until May.

בלוטוס Jabbar

soundtrack to the area, but rather to the whole after its

How Much Should I Spend On Snowboard

Few hours before the show

should only go to sleep instead of writing these ideas without substantiation, that want to support.

is good that my brother comes Business / work. It's good, because we are out of the routine. Makes us happier. My mother loves. They spend hours talking. Leaving the two idols on errands, as if it were the funniest thing in the world.

Then I get irritated. I feel displaced. Without attracting attention. I conclude by saying how much things appear in my mind. With a stupid smile, of course. Why not stand to see me saying what I feel in my face.

I feel foolish. Unable to decide or do something. As if I stayed behind the people I know. This happens to me more when he walks around here. Because I looked, and I realize how much you've achieved.
Then he looked at the others. Your dreams, goals and achievements. I look at myself and see achievements meaningless. Because of the teoríaa reality, there is a long way that I can not cross. I feel that accomplishment only to be left behind. Do not even know I want to study. I have fear of failure. A disappointment. Error. I shudder just thinking about it.

had been paying a trip. You'd better sell it. Although it will not have to pay money to use it to my taste. I will use it best to pay whatever study. Because I know I will. I know I could mourn, kicking, feeling frustrated. But it would end. The problem is I do not want to be unhappy with what he does.

more I get frustrated by a friend who is not connected. I know from long, long time. We lived in the same city, but then she was gone. The only contact we have is via the internet. And it has not appeared in days. I'm getting paranoid. I would like to connect. And we talked as usual. Tell these fears both go out when I'm alone and sleep. Tell of the nightmare I had for days, where I saw a slaughter in a mall in our town (and we were fleeing in a car) and only saw the parking garage of dead people, hearing the screams and gunfire , watching the shadows reflected who fell to the ground. We chased ...
Seriously, she should buy a damn cell phone, or give me a phone number where you can contact.

A couple of hours, and will I know my rating in a certificate of English. I know that I went but I'd at least get a B +, but is much trust. ~





There are times when you would like to sew a pair of wings on his back. Fly, very, very high. Feel the breeze in the air. And then disappear into the infinite sky. A nice thought before going to sleep.

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Presentation and wash Drabble: Denial


Well, this would be the first entry my livejournal ... the truth is that I just created the account to comment on other users ... yes, strange ... Like I did with youtube ... but I ended up videos ...

Well let's start! I Otonashi

Kiromi (false name), better known as Deskdraik or Desdraik (typo and lazy to fix it) on youtube, I like the lavixallen and well, I have a forum tbm ... wash ... but now I is liking the FranciaxInglaterra (Hetalia is very addictive), or * scratches head * I start leaving a wash Drabble I wrote some time ago ... yaoi is my first letter I did ... ___________________________________________________________________________________

Denial-*-* *-*-

Why are you the only one who can see through me ?

Allen ... I know that you suffer. Samples

concern in your eyes, a concern that someone should not feel as bad as me.

Am I the cause?

not know I hate how you're a Bookman, why have to leave the order because abandon all ties he had formed, because you go in a few minutes and I'll be alone again.

Allen ... I like hearing my name out of your lips, because I can never have them, I suffer because I can not tie you to my side, I want to keep both captive by my hand, stealing candy kisses your lips, love me and only me as I love you, a selfish desire, a forbidden desire, a desperate folly, but I am a coward, I could never say anything, I remain silent and the silence hurts.

Yes, I'll lose a valuable friend ... My words

confused with half-truths, I therefore believe that, do not look through me again, I beg you, because otherwise I can hold my words.

is something I must do to pursue my dream, but if you go I will still be my friends ...

friends, if friends is all we are and reach be right?, I want to deprive you of your freedom as a possessive desire and dark, but if you really want to let you go I right?, I open the bars of my corazóny let fly freely, but say what you feel not change for you to desist go, all you cause is that cause you discomfort, a painful memory and my heart shatter finish. I hope

... I hope this feeling I have toward you, you go away, because I will not suffer, do not know what will result when you leave? Not only leave me alone, go to be with the dark, nothing will be like if you go, you're everything to me, my light, my hope, my way, how can I keep walking if I have no way to go and without a light that guided me through the darkness? But I can not tell you, I can not. Sorry

Allen ... I whisper in your ear before you go, leaving a cool breeze that corrodes my bones and my heart is in strips, you were the only thing I can see under my mask, he could only understand that "sorry" was more of a farewell, I know, you've come to see through me, without habe ; shove them aside with words that you understood all this "sorry" was a rejection, an apology for not able to respond, an apology for being nothing more than a friend.

I fall to his knees, hit with anger and helplessness the stone cold floor with my fingertips causing scarlet liquid is mixed with the flood of tears falling from my eyes, it was not necessary to say anything, we understood through the silence, but silence can be so painful ... but your last words ... Goodbye

Lavi. ____________________________________________________________________________________


Hum is obvious that D. Gray man is not my own, and do not know how this works ... but if you like ... may leave a coment! ^ W ^, tbm translate doujinshi, soon I'll post some ...

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Promises

Of course, all this crap are my THOUGHTS.
And I'd really love If They Could Become real.

Idiot. Idiot. Stupid. Piece of shit. Son of a bitch bastard.

Should've beaten when I had the chance. And maybe, I should have killed.

now. your fault. Yes, shit, your fucking fault! They fought. You'll be happy.
What if they really are, would not hesitate to throw you to the floor and deformarte face.

've already caused much damage. Damn. I would like you rot in hell.
That all the bad karma of the world gave you at once. I would laugh if you died. Would your grave to laugh.

Because they are important to me. Much more than they usually say. Much of what I say. One I love
years. On the other hand, the learned want to because I have confidence.

And now because of you. For your rotten existence, have been fought. On a promise that one of them do not like talking volveríaa.

Die. Die a painful way.

How long will continue to do damage?

CAN NOT GET YOU CLICK ON YOUR HEAD? Die! Drown. YOU KIDNAPPING AND TORTURE YOU. I DO NOT CARE AS WELL AS YOU DESTROY.

A promise absurd, you know? Unfounded. So I told myself who proposed it. "I do not you can force through that. " I listened. But I can not blame. It was an effective measure at that time. More than I intended it. With all this intellectual shit. Right now you could go to say that his anger and disappointment is stupid.

But I dare not. And I do not listen. Nobody listens to the intellectual efforts of the hateful people.

is losing more faith in people.

My other friend. The more I know. You feel worthless.

At least it was honest. At least he told guilt and sin. If not condone each other, is partly self-interest of each. Perhaps the other idiot or deserves to be mentioned in all this.

And then the other has won the most horrible hell hole. Interestingly

. In four days I lost respect, sympathy, trust and blowjobs tooodas friendship these two men. Yes, both can go to hell and I laugh about it. One, well, I lost it since he did all this damage (yes, you Kevin, Hang yourself and make him the world a favor.) The other, well, betray my trust. And right now I'm so upset that the only smart way to get even writing all this crap is disgusting.

Finally, reinforcement my reasons for not trusting men. Yes, I know, not all their fault and all this talk. I do not care at all. But I'll be more careful of those who claim to hate themselves. Of those who try to help by pity. Of those who at some point become a bit important to you. And those who hurt you then. Or your precious people.

Fortunately, there are men in you can trust as well. Strong, do not mourn because they say people hate themselves. I grew up around men like that. So maybe I do not trust those who are not well. More luck for me, I know several who SI are reliable. RIGHT NOW THE REST OF ME DA ASCO.

NOT EVEN DESERVE TO HAVE PEOPLE WHO CARE FOR YOU.

whatever. I'm not going to listen and to soothe myself.
Tomorrow, or an hour, think better.

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La servante au grand cœur dont vous étiez jalouse

And in Belarus, you can hire a maid? Such that both day and night, like a bourgeois.

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was yesterday at a family gathering.

At some point, the grandmother-grandfather's sister had left, and left three children (two of about 10 years old, single - 5 months), two pair of parents, weird guy - all about 30. Well I do.
Adults - alcohol, hookah, talking, something else. Children - chess, monopoly, PC, something else. Plus a small entertain.
I'm not that I do not like children, I just have no idea what to do and how they have to be. Especially with babies. With senior lighter, but still unclear.
In short, there are two groups of people with whom I can not communicate. The first group - those who are less than 20, the second - those over 25. Conventionally, of course, but nearly so.
yesterday revealed that children are still interesting.

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try, denial and fear II


Now you try?

I think he was very wrong. Which came out more of this I was hurt.
.
still days of discomfort. When to evade

never to be alone with you.

dreamer. Silly.

Stubborn. Blind.

feel like you've betrayed my trust.

Forgive my thought if you did with that purpose.

But do not ever see the same way.

Stupid. Is not that what you wanted to avoid? Will changing this friendship?

He decided to do it.

...

Everything had been calm. But today I heard shooting again.

Indeed, there are days that I really want to be blind and deaf.
not listen to those horrible sounds. For not being able to read that you wrote.




Lucky that there is more reason to enjoy these senses that I possess.
For these horrible things, pretend to close my ears and closing my eyes.

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try, denial and fear.

What are you trying?

I think I forgot that this is always what I wanted to avoid.

...

These are the consequences

you always wanted to avoid

That you think something

That I do not want you to think

're like a son, after all

And I ma person ; s horrible world

(So horrible that I mourn my best friend

For all sorts of foolish things without reason

my own selfishness and envy.

A damn proud that I burn.

Ten times. It pleases me greatly.

the point that makes me want to write

Because you know, I too have felt this way. With that fear.

It hurts so much when barely pokes through my mind

makes me shudder. I also think I would break into pieces)




... To you, my son play, I spend most of that writing

Wishing Having A

avoided suffering And I wanted to avoid something like this

My own suffering

LIKE THIS!

Understand? Do you understand?

I do not want. I do not want to change that which was done.



... It's the kind of things that I can not rhyme line after line.

Strange, no? You can talk on the same day of the person you shared a little of their feelings, whether passengers or eternal. And then want to try something with the same person with whom you spoke of that heartbreak. Who has heard a few more of your feelings, and seen your attempts with a friend we both share.

Me.

I'm not second-table dish.

I had done before. I'm sure. But I have una memoria que ahora mismo aborrezco.
O tal vez, fue que tú me lo decías de broma. Un pequeño intento desesperado. Yo te respondía de la misma manera. Sin profundizar razones.

“Sólo amigos”. Buenos amigos.

¿Lo captas? Buenos amigos que se comparten las ideas. Que no necesitan nada más. No contacto físico. Nada que implique una verdadera relación de noviazgo. O la que yo quisiera tener.

Tengo tanto miedo de lastimarte. Siempre lo he tenido, desde que vi tus ojos. Desde que te conozco un poco más. Tengo miedo de salir lastimada. To feel the kind of feelings I felt at that time. This unfortunate event.

"He saw it as a good friend. Then, barely spoke a word to me. And now uses the same kind of phrases that I irritate me. I do not remember, but his indifference makes me rage. "

I do not want something like this happens to you.

Of course you do not know one of my fears. One of the things I think I do without difficulty. That, therefore, find it really hard to avoid. Sometimes I feel like people away from me. I have much fear of alienating people who are around me.

Whenever I can try to listen to people, you know? Whatever I say, I listen. And always try to respond. To let know that I care and listen to what they say. But sometimes I focus only on myself. In my useless things. And just enough for me to feel that people are moving away from me. As an effort in vain, which, stupidly, I keep keep doing it. For my precious people follow me around.

But of course, just yesterday you told me. Does that you liked me. My ability to listen.

"Morin, Where are you? I deserve a slap for illusory. "

Should have seen. Small signals. I should not believe that just babble what trouble you, out of this. Because I thought you had already exceeded this. That this would only be just a gathering of friends. No way you try to tell me something that ultimately could not do it. Until then, without looking into my eyes, through written words. (That's where you look like him. But he was on the phone).

Still, however, as before. Maybe a little more confident. That pleased me a little.

hurts me to think that this is the excuse that you could use to get away from me.

If you do, at least I know that you are someone who is not worth it. I hurt, sure.

And then, it will be a battle between my pride, against the little friendship that I have been with you, let you know about, or that everything written here about you remains one of the things you never hear me say.

If not, and everything is in a way that I can call, "just like before (let's face it, there will be), I will be surprised. Then I could follow the normal course of a quiet friendship.



... "I can have some faith in you? I can trust that nothing will change? What we do not distance? Curious. Another friend and I were chatting about that nights ago.

I like this and as we are, really.

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I sit by the window, I washed the dishes

Always wary of a poet Brodsky, He is very verbose, like me, I find it a bit nauseating from a number of important words in a square centimeter, but for the Rostov rap, of course, the most it:

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emile michel cioran

To master them, I would take several centuries of English education, and I - came from the edges, where the funeral wail ...

this year celebrate 100 years in the Austro-Hungarian Carpathians born mysterious Romanian-French philosopher Emil Cioran.